In a cusp of change

Change is a constant phenomenon that doesn't spare any walk of life. But we exhibit an inertia towards it due to our habituation. One such example is....
The position of women in the Indian society has changed a lot. From being an object possessed by men folk and totally dependant on him, it has transitioned to an independant personality who can contribute equally to the house-hold and the society. But the way she gets treated by her house-hold and the society hasn't changed much. Some instances..

• she is still looked upon as the person who is responsible for the house-keeping. If house-keeping is a girly job, then what about the all the macho-things that she is doing now?
• Men are allowed or rather expected to take care of his parents...what about women folk? Why looking after one's parents by an independant woman is still considered un-conventional?
• Dowry is another thing. Parents of the girl are supposed to give a dowry or the so called gifts to their daughters. Oh me ! that was when she had to be taken care of by her husband...now she earns for herself..so what's the need?

I see a lot of families around me in which women are very well educated and earning soundly but not getting fittingly treated.

If a woman also has the inertia, and doesn't mind the way she is getting treated, she settles for it. But those who are assertive and are fully aware that they deserve better, have to fight with the society constantly for what they are due.

My understanding is that the society is in a cusp of change now and this phase will pass away after a few decades. For our future generations it might be just an interesting bit of history that women were considered inferior to men. Or who knows the situation might even get reversed and women might become the dominant sex.

Life is not for giving up !

Adversities are an inevitable part of one's life. Sometimes it is very over-whelming that the question arises "Is it all worth?" and drives a person into depression and sometimes to end one's life.
A thought surfaced my mind that "facing adversity is life". Right from the smallest amoeba to the greatest blue-whale, life is all about surviving adverse conditions. In fact, life originated as a stabler way of facing adversities in the environment and if it were not for that, life might not have evolved amazingly to variety, beauty and intelligence as we see now.
So, life is to live and face adversities, and become better and better and not for giving up.

All men are flirts ?!

When I heard this sentence many years ago from a friend, I did not quite agree with it as I had always thought that devotion to a lover or spouse, which is quite natural for women, is a quality of many a good gentlemen. But down the lane of experience( of others as well as mine) I slowly started to gain more and more evidences for the fact which is disgusting to many a devoted wives. The saying " Virginity is a lack of opportunity" suits men the best.In an attempt to trace out the root causes of such a behaviour, I realized that the main reason could be the "outcome" of such a behaviour in the most basic sense. It is a plain fact that nature has given the arduous responsibility of bearing the off-springs to women and they are the ones who face the consequences of a relationship. Hence it is quite possible that men's psyche has evolved to look at man-women relationship as an enjoyment alone whereas women's psyche associates it with commitment and responsibility. But as we can see, these attitudes are quite primitive and those of men's is against the later and more evolved version of the society where the concept of "family" came in. One to one relationship is important for the integrity of the family which has many advantages in the social concept. Even the western world which has a very liberal culture, respects it. Hence,in my opinion, wise married men who want to preserve the integrity of the family should try to overcome their "primitive" nature and start respecting the one to one concept which will be a relief to their devoted wives.

P.S - This post was originally published as the author's comment to the post "Angels in the building" in the blog www.lunchgossips.blogspot.com. The author thanks Bala for granting permission for the republication

Knowledge !

I have moved recently to a new job and to a new place. It is two weeks since I had come here. Today, I had a flash of thought between the difference in my feelings about the new place when I joined and now. To put down in words,

- When I first came here, I had seen only a part of the place and did not know exactly how big or how small it is and I was quite anxious and apprehensive. I was also eager and curious at the same tme to explore the unknown and it was very interesting. Now that, having got familiar with the place, I dont have anymore of those anxieties. And at the same time, that curious enthusiasm is also gone. I was wondering that this wouldbe the case with any new change that happen in our life. Be it a new place, or a new job, or a new person, it is all the same.

I was wondering, that when I married my husband, I remember having a similar state of mind. The initial charm that happens in a relationship is mainly because of the curiosity to know the unknown and when all is know, it vanishes. (I wonder this is why Bala is very secretive in letting to know him fully).
On the other hand, getting to know one clearly, one lose all the anxieties and apprehensions about the relationship, and it becomes easy to handle and is not a stress anymore. So, looks like knowledge is double-edged. It takes away the insecure feeling along with the curiosity and the score is levelled.